If I’m Honest, I Wrote This Book for Me
“Non Omnis Moriar” (not all of me will die) — Horace, The Odes
Writing a book is hard work. It takes discipline and perseverance. If it is a memoir, it also requires a healthy dose of self-reflection and introspection. I know firsthand how real the writing struggle can be as I have been working on my first book, on and off, for over twenty years. It is easy to give up. Most people don’t attempt to write a book. And even fewer finish writing one. And even fewer finish writing one and publish it. I commend anyone who has ever attempted to write a book and I encourage you to finish it, for your own sake.
My wife asked me an important question the other day. She inquired, “why did you write this book?” I went with my gut, and it surprised me, “I wrote it for me.” I know, that sounds selfish, but it is an honest answer. I wrote it to process and gain perspective from my experiences. I wrote it to learn from my life. As Socrates famously said at his trial, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” And I want to live AND live fully, this day and every day I receive with gratitude.
It is a gift to look back. It is an even greater gift to look back and make sense and meaning of your journey thus far. Humans are meaning makers. The stories we tell ourselves shape who we are, what we believe is possible, and what we actually achieve. But I warn you, it is an intense crucible. French philosopher, Blaise Pascal, wrote, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” I don’t blame all of humanity’s problems on this inability, but sitting quietly in a room alone with your own thoughts isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s like going through a mental version of detox, which I know a bit about.
You don’t sweat and shake with an unquenchable desire for another drink or another hit of something, but you may go running and screaming from the ghosts and demons that appear. We are magnificent creatures who have a powerful ability to distract ourselves with busyness. When we don’t want to let ourselves feel what we need to feel or wrestle with what we need to wrestle with, we go to work. We bury our emotions in activities, distractions, and self-soothing entertainment.
Writing helps to unwind this. To get you to slow down, to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel and engage all of your senses. Writing helps you to get comfortable with discomforting thoughts — to name them, to claim them, to understand them. Writing is therapy. What I wrote before is even truer today than when I wrote it almost exactly two years ago:
What has become clear to me is that writing and especially storytelling is cathartic. It is certainly cheaper than therapy, but it was through psychotherapy that I learned how freeing it can be to express one’s deepest emotions. If you don’t let them out, they just boil inside of you until you explode.
Publishing is a whole other ball game. It is equally hard work and very different from writing. It is its own art form, especially if done right. The more you learn about it, the more you learn you know nothing about it (at least that is true for me). That’s why I started a publishing company, Barstool Ballads, with someone — my friend Ryan Michael Connolly — who actually knows what he is doing. Many publishing companies only exist to market and sell books and therefore look to publish books that will attract the largest audiences and produce the highest profits. As a writer, there is a big difference between great writing and books that sell to the masses. While there are authors, like Stephen King, who are amazing writers who also sell a gazillion books, that is more the exception nowadays, than the rule.
So, why publish a book? Well, if you want to sell as many books as possible, then use that as your NorthStar. Write what the largest audience wants to purchase and read (warning: that is not very fulfilling). But, if like me, you want to leave behind a sacred part of yourself in this world and you don’t care if your closest family and friends are the only ones who buy and read it, then let your story and your Muses be your only guides. I published my book with the great hope that if by telling my story it inspires just one other person to tell theirs, than that is good enough for me.
You can pre-order my book here.
